I love myself some loneliness (vent post)
nsfw
preview
I’m genuinely gonna try to end it if I dont meet anyone to talk to and bond with. I cant with this, I seem to be an exception while everyone else seems to succeed to at least keep a conversation going. also, this conservative family is suffocating me. and environment is I have melatonin, some atarax and maybe some adderall in the house. nothing really lethal per se, but if I combine it with alcohol and something else, it might be deadly. I honestly dont know what to do
I’m usually not that talkative because I can’t keep up with conversations, I’m just naturally awkward lol. and I relate, I have no real friends IRL and when I try to talk about it (online ofc), people usually tell me “why don’t you learn social skills like normal people” I TRIED for years and nothing came out, every single time it ended in a disaster that made me more shut-in. and regarding transidentity, as time passes, I just think that their (my family’s, but also that of most people around me) model is ridiculous and a laughing stock. you’re expected to conform to norms (gender-wise, but not only) that are imposed and feel nothing like you just because some people can’t take identities that are too different or “complicated”. I hope it’ll be better when I move out but I guess it won’t change much, I’ll still have huge problems and no one to rely on or bond with. but for DMs, sure :>