Oi Josuke, my hand ruled off, ain't that wacky?
cross-posted from: sh.itjust.works/post/67249915
Anon fears The Hand
log in to comment.
cross-posted from: sh.itjust.works/post/67249915
Anon fears The Hand
log in to comment.
Edit: inb4 “ai”. No. This is human slop and it’s completely different.
The hand started to come into view in the distance just as preparations were being finished. This tradition had been going on so long, no one even remembered how it started, but they knew why it continued. The villages bravest warrior was chosen weeks in advance and prepared for his journey. The fastest horse, the strongest bow, supplies for longer than he thought he could travel.
The mission was somewhat easy, even if the conclusion was hard. As the hand got closer to the city, you left on horseback and started to head east, away from the city. Once the hand got closer, the warrior would start firing arrows into the index finger. It was thought this was where the power of the hand was stored (as it did most of the actual killing). This barrage of arrows wasn’t enough to seriously injure it, but it was enough to make it mad. Predictably, it would change direction and start to give chase to the warrior.
Now it was just an endurance race. The route we followed was through enemy territories. We made sure to carry a giant hand banner as we rode through these villages and towns. At the sound of our gallop, the town locked up tight and families took shelter where they could. The hand always killed a couple as it passed through.
I was the latest chosen warrior, and after three days of nonstop riding, the hand was gaining on me and I was just about exhausted. I picked up the pace to the best of my ability but it was no use. The hand overtook my horse and with a swift flick of its finger, I was off my horse and tumbling across the ground. The hand grew near, and I closed my eyes in anticipation of my imminent demise. But death didn’t come. All I heard was “um…sir”. I opened my eyes to see the hand towering over me, beaming words directly into my mind as it lacked a mouth. Terrified, I looked up at it and said “…y-yes?”
We’ve been trying to reach you about your horse’s extended warranty
chef’s kiss
I love human slop
Shortly thereafter the horse was procured by a broken Electric Monk.
(Forgive me, any story that ends with a horse alive and alone, in my mind, is also somehow, [I know this doesn’t make a lickspittle of sense] the beginning of Dirk Gently’s Holisitic Detective Agency)
People would sell useless anti hand potions and devices.
Since it only kills one person, the majority of users think their magical device is what is protecting them.
Biggest scam in the world.
Eventually after cenuries of the scam, the CEO of the company gets killed and there’s a big conspiracy to hide it.
Eventually there will be a movie with Nicolas Cage aboit finding proof that the CEO did get killed by the hand.